Holidays are great, but nearly always stressful: getting the plans worked out, getting the food worked out, and interpersonal relationships are just a few of the reasons the holidays can be stressful. For couples, families and children who have experienced divorce, especially the first year or two, this stress can be particularly high. Try to keep in mind, this is hard for everyone involved: … Read more about Holiday Harmony (for families of divorce) Pt. 1
For Parents: A Lovely Formula for Well-Adjusted, Happy Children
Resilience is defined in the New Oxford Dictionary as "...the capacity to withstand or recover quickly from difficulties; toughness, to spring back, elasticity." As parents and as a society, we all want resilient children, don't we? But saying it and having a way to give them the greatest chance of building resilience takes more than aspirations. In the article Eighteen Ways to Build a Resilient … Read more about For Parents: A Lovely Formula for Well-Adjusted, Happy Children
What is Creative Conflict and How Will it Change Your Life (AND Your Divorce)?
Rich Heller is a counselor in New Rochelle, New York and hosts a podcast/webcast called, Rich in Relationships. I read his blogs and listen and watch his podcasts/webcasts on a regular basis. Recently, he posted a blog called, How Handling Conflict Creatively Will Change Your Life, which I found particularly insightful and informative. While Rich is primarily focused on helping couples find … Read more about What is Creative Conflict and How Will it Change Your Life (AND Your Divorce)?
Men–Advice From Other Divorced Men About Taking Care of Yourself During and After Your Divorce (good advice for women, too)
A little while ago, Tom and Adrian, the guys at overdivorce.com, were nice enough to invite me to do a podcast about Collaborative Divorce on their show. I have listened to a number of their podcasts, and I recommend that, whether you are a man or a woman, you read their Divorce Survival Tools for Men (much if not 100% of the advice in this little book is good for women, too). Too often, men who … Read more about Men–Advice From Other Divorced Men About Taking Care of Yourself During and After Your Divorce (good advice for women, too)
Give Anger a Voice While Taking the High Road in Your Divorce
In my family law practice, we talk about communicating and negotiating using what I call high-road techniques. I work in the Collaborative Divorce practice with many gifted, talented, and specially trained professionals who can help families get to the other side of a divorce with compassion, respect, and privacy, restructuring their family relationships while maintaining their ability to be a … Read more about Give Anger a Voice While Taking the High Road in Your Divorce
“Court is the Last Place You Want to Be,” Judge Michele Lowrance. Why a Judge Would Support a Different Way to Divorce?
Abraham Lincoln famously said, "Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser — in fees, expenses, and waste of time." Former Judge Michele Lowrance wrote The Good Karma Divorce. She has been a family lawyer, family court judge, was a child of divorce and went through a divorce herself. She shares … Read more about “Court is the Last Place You Want to Be,” Judge Michele Lowrance. Why a Judge Would Support a Different Way to Divorce?
Name the Emotion and You Will Be Better Able to Deal with It (and Protect Your Family from It)
Recently, Rich Heller, a counselor in New Rochelle, NY, did a podcast, with Dr. John Schinnerer, a psychologist with a Ph.D. from the University of California, Berkeley, and host of The Evolved Caveman podcast: Where Men Come to Evolve. Try to Identify and Name What You Are Feeling Rich Heller, New Rochelle, New York, counselor, recently interviewed Berkeley educated psychologist, Dr. John … Read more about Name the Emotion and You Will Be Better Able to Deal with It (and Protect Your Family from It)
How to a Give Your Children a Happy Family (even if you have a Divorce)
Bruce Feiler wrote a book called, "The Secret of Happy Families." I think it might be helpful to the families I work with every day--families who have or are going through a divorce. In his book, Feiler offers several suggestions that are grounded in research, and what caught my attention was that, while he talks about applying these techniques, or hacks, if you want to call them that, to his … Read more about How to a Give Your Children a Happy Family (even if you have a Divorce)
“Dignity: The Key to a Lasting Divorce Settlement and Successful Co-Parenting”
I recently heard a profound statement by a divorce professional: they said, “Litigation simply teaches clients how to litigate, and once they learn that many of them do it over and over again until their children are grown.” Does anyone who divorces really want to go to court over and over again? Why do they do it? Often what we see in divorces is the same as what happens in international … Read more about “Dignity: The Key to a Lasting Divorce Settlement and Successful Co-Parenting”
“(Un)Tangled:” A Great New Book by Deb Gilman, Ph.D., on Raising Emotionally Secure Children Despite a Divorce
(Un)Tangled: 52 Co-Parenting Habits to Build Trust, Reduce Conflict, and Raise Emotionally Secure Kids After Divorce (Un)Tangled: 52 Co-Parenting Habits by Dr. Gilman is a hands-on guide that helps divorced or divorcing parents raise emotionally secure kids. With 52 weekly lessons, it teaches parents to recognize triggers, understand the science behind their reactions, and replace harmful … Read more about “(Un)Tangled:” A Great New Book by Deb Gilman, Ph.D., on Raising Emotionally Secure Children Despite a Divorce
