CHILDREN AND DIVORCE Telling your children about your divorce can be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. And sadly, approximately 50% of families will have to face that task. I get irritated when I hear people say, "Oh, kids are so resilient--they will be fine after the divorce." Truth is, one of the ways adults develop resilience is by living through life experiences that train them on … [Read more...]
January is Child-Centered Divorce Awareness Month
Do Children of Divorce Need Counseling? In my practice, I regularly suggest counseling for the children of parents in conflict because, when the parents are so embroiled in their own conflict or pain, they are sometimes unable to recognize their children’s emotional needs in the way that they need to. When any of us are in deep conflict or pain, we revert to our more primal reactions … [Read more...]
Divorce Poison and Dr. Richard Warshak
Understanding the Trauma and Permanent Damage Bad-Mouthing can cause in a Divorce In 1993, I had a case where the mother, who had chosen to have a career that forced her to commute every day, thought that because she was the mother of the child, she basically had divine right to move the child away from the town where the father lived. The father had chosen to stay in a local (and lower … [Read more...]
Raechel Parolisi: The Dangers of Not Using an ERISA Attorney When You Divorce
As a family lawyer who is Board Certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization, I can tell you that even most board certified lawyers are not experts in retirement benefits; I recommend that when you need a specialist, you should be sure to ask for one. For additional information, here is an article that was published by the Dallas Bar Association by Raechel Parolisi, the person I … [Read more...]
What happens in Texas if you die without a Will?
If you die without a Will, what happens? One of my colleagues says, “Texas writes one for you.” What he means by that is that the Texas Estates Code determines how your property will be divided if you do not indicate your wishes in a formal Will. For the vast majority of people, doing a Will is inexpensive and simple. But if you die without one, what would have been simple, may … [Read more...]
“Love, Honor and Negotiate” – Pre-Marital Agreements as Insurance for Your Relationship
Whatever the long-term relationship status might be, it is a good idea to have a pre-marital or cohabitation agreement. Why? Many people are now waiting to marry until later in life. Some do not marry at all, but are in long-term co-habitation relationships. Psychologists and other social scientists say this is because of one or several possibilities: the expectations of … [Read more...]
How to Manage Shared Parenting Time
What is really in the “best interest” of the children? I spent last week in New Orleans at the State Bar of Texas/American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers seminar on “Breaking Boundaries in Custody Litigation.” As someone who has embraced Collaborative Divorce and non-adversarial conflict resolution for families, it might seem curious why I would go to a course that even has “litigation” … [Read more...]
Not Having a Last Will Can Really Cost You (and Your Family)
Not having a Last Will can really cost you (and your family). I just read in the news this morning that Prince, the recently deceased musician and movie star, had no Last Will. Amazing. All those millions; all those fans; he accomplished so much, and yet, he forgot, or just didn't get around to doing one simple thing that will endanger the relationships in his family and the value of his estate … [Read more...]
Can You Get A Divorce AND Have Happy Holidays?
I just returned from the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals 16th Annual Educational Forum, and I heard one participant say, “Litigation teaches clients how to litigate, and they end up doing it again and again (modifications), whereas in a Collaborative Divorce clients learn how to resolve conflict and issues so that they can move on without having to ‘re-litigate’ their issues … [Read more...]
The Impact of Conflict on Children
I am attending the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals 16th Annual Educational Forum in Washington, D.C. Donna Hicks, Ph.D., an associate at the Weatherford Center for International Affairs at Harvard and author of the book, “Dignity,” is our keynote speaker tomorrow night. Of course, because she works primarily in the field of international relations, much of her book is about … [Read more...]
