“Scrooge was a miser, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.” (from “The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge”)
“Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.” (from “A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens”)
We typically associate Scrooge and “A Christmas Carol,” with Christmas, right?
But just like Scrooge committed to becoming a different person in the New Year, there are many lessons we can learn from Scrooge (and the other characters in the story that the authors use to illustrate different financial philosophies for us) to apply to our lives in the New Year, especially if you must go through a divorce.
“The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge” has the wisdom of the ages compacted into a small book. Its genius comes from the combination of three authors, Ted Klontz, Ph.D., Rick Kahler, MS, CFP®, and Brad Klontz, Psy.D., who approach the questions of financial wisdom from both financial psychology and financial planning. They help us discovery what our “money scripts” are, our personal approach to money, and why our script is what it is. Most people’s money scripts, they tell us, is based on their childhoods:
“Since children can’t fully grasp adult reality, they translate what they see and hear into unconscious rules about life, including any internalized messages about money… As children grow into adulthood, they often behave as though these partial truths are absolute truths. They may find themselves unable to change destructive behaviors that, at a very basic level, somehow feel right and make perfect sense… When people carefully explore their family histories, clear and profound patterns of financial behaviors often emerge.”
What does this have to do with divorce?
A large percentage of the clients I see in my office for divorce are there because of money issues. And it isn’t because there is a right or wrong financial philosophy, but if you and your partner have DIFFERENT financial philosophies or your financial philosophy is causing you to have self-sabatoging or destructive behaviors, that can often result in separation and divorce. Like it says in, “The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge,” most people are not even aware of their money scripts, and when there is a divorce, they, like Scrooge, are thrust into learning that about themselves, which often brings significant growing pains when they are already in the midst of grief.
So, whether you are contemplating a divorce, are in a divorce, have had a divorce or are happily married or single, it is helpful for every adult to know their money script. In part two of this piece, we will talk about the different money scripts and how to change yours, if you feel like that would be beneficial. To prepare for that, please take the Klontz Money Script Inventory and we will get back together in part 2 of this series to discover what to do with it to be better prepared for your divorce and your future life or even making the life you are living and the relationship you are in better.
As the authors of “The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge,” say, “Living happily ever after [even after divorce] doesn’t just happen. It requires maintenance, planning and the support of a professional team.” If you or someone you know feels they must go through a divorce, please help them find a trained and experienced Collaborative Divorce attorney – it can make all the difference in the rest of their and their children’s future happily ever after.
Contact A Denton Collaborative Divorce Attorney
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