Terry Gaspard, an MSW, LICSW, is a family therapist who regularly blogs about family law matters. She said in her blog, “The Changing Dynamics of Marriage: Statistics for 2019,” that she recently attended the National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education Summit, where she heard a presentation by Dr. Scott Stanley, a psychological professor with the University of Denver.
Dr. Stanley ‘s research confirms that the divorce rate for Baby Boomers is still holding at about 50%, but the good news is that people who are marrying today have only a 38% chance of getting divorce. His probing questions in the research that led to these findings are summarized by Terry Gaspard in a list of suggestions for a lasting marriage for the generations following the Baby Boomer Generation:
She says, if you want to try to prevent divorce and increase your chances of having a partnership marriage that endures the test of time here are five tips:
- Wait until you’re at least in your late 20’s to tie the knot.
- Select a partner who you have both chemistry (physical and intellectual) and compatibility with (share interests).
- Discuss expectations for your relationship with your partner on a regular basis.
- Learn good communication and repair skills to manage conflict. All couples experience conflicts but leaning to bounce back and repair hurt feelings is crucial for a couple’s long-term success.
- Practice forgiveness by giving sincere apologies when you hurt your partner and accepting them when you are feeling wounded. This will go a long way to heal from small and larger infractions when they occur. Not all hurtful actions are done on purpose, sometimes people simply make mistakes.
Most of the divorces that I now handle are for the Baby Boomer Generation.
I hope that you do not have to go through the trauma of a divorce at any age, but hopefully, we can encourage our post-Baby Boomers to heed this advice and have longer and happier marriages.
Terry has a new book coming out in February, 2020, called Terry’s forthcoming book, The Remarriage Manual: How to Make Everything Work Better the Second Time Around, will be published by Sounds True in February of 2020. So, even if you have been divorced, she offers insight into how to hopefully never have to go through divorce again.
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